Anne's Blog

How Did You Learn To Love?

We don’t always realize it, but even with the best of intentions, we model love to children through the quality of our presence.


Love is connection and attention and the way we connect with them shapes their understanding and definition of love and emotional intimacy. If our desire to connect with them comes from a lack of love inside of us, love will register as co-dependent. If our attention on them comes from our own need for care, love will register as insecure and will begin a never-ending search for it. If we connect emotionally with them only when there is a problem, love will register as a solution, a transaction, not whole in itself. If our own needs overwhelm their needs, love will register as unsafe and a burden. This conditioning determines how we seek love, ask for it or not, recognize it or not, accept or refuse it, and how it feels to be around it. Eventually, this fragmented version of love won’t be enough because it is not true love. True love requires...

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