To my empaths and highly sensitive beauties
... remember that there are people who don’t have your best interest at heart and will not have the desire or the capacity to understand why you need to put up a boundary. Some of these people have predator energy. Predator energy desires superiority and power over others and instead of empowering the light in another, it works to dim or extinguish it. This is often associated with personality disorders in the cluster B category of personality disorders, which include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. Although it is not recommended that you diagnose a person with a disorder without the help of a trained psychologist, it is very helpful to be aware of these personality traits that represent 9.1% of the population.
In Women Who Run With The Wolves, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés writes that because of their hurt, a person displaying predator energy, “maintains a heartless pursuit of the light of others. ” It is the only remedy they know to the deep loneliness they feel. She continues on to say, “Though we might have mercy upon it, our first action must be to recognize it, and to protect ourselves from its devastations… ” Unfortunately, predatory energies are out there. It is up to us to recognize them and move away.
When predator energy is present, there is no amount of attention, love, and conversation that will make it able or willing to respect your need for space and growth. It is not your responsibility to make a person in that energy feel good or understand why you are doing what you are doing. More often than not, a break is needed. Give yourself a few months away from that person and you will see how your perspective will expand as well as your ability to see more clearly.
You can recognize predator energy in a person when you observe these behaviors:
• They create a sense of urgency and make you feel like you must help them “right now” because something terrible will happen to them or you if you don’t.
• They do nice things for you, but it is so that when they need you, you will owe them.
• They gaslight you, meaning they make you doubt yourself.
• They undermine you by not acknowledging your needs.
• They have ulterior motives and will ask you to do something that not healthy for you because they don't care that you could get hurt.
• They won’t take no for an answer
• They will try to involve you in projects you don't have an interest in because they can’t move forward in their own life without you.
• They don't respect your need for privacy.
• They triangulate, meaning they don't talk to you directly but use another person to convey messages.
• They will test you by not engaging you when you want to confront an issue.
• They will push your buttons deliberately to throw you off balance, to keep you confused.
• They mislead you by not being honest about their emotions.