Predator Energy

To my empaths and highly sensitive beauties ❤️... remember that there are people who don’t have your best interest at heart and will not have the desire or the capacity to understand why you need to put up a boundary. Some of these people have predator energy. Predator energy desires superiority and power over others and instead of empowering the light in another, it works to dim or extinguish it. This is often associated with personality disorders in the cluster B category of personality disorders, which include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. Although it is not recommended that you diagnose a person with a disorder without the help of a trained psychologist, it is very helpful to be aware of these personality traits that represent 9.1% of the population.
In Women Who Run With The Wolves, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés writes that because of their hurt, a person...
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Comfort In Chaos

We often find comfort in conflict. Intensity and contrast are all around us, all the time, especially these days with everything happening around the world. For many of us, conflict has become our default setting. And when it goes on too long, we come to a place where we feel more comfortable in the chaos of an argument or a dramatic piece of news than we do in the stillness of our own being.
 
Often we pride ourselves on how much we can handle. Our backs are strong, people can lean on us. The more problems to solve and the more crisis to manage, the better. We take it on not necessarily because we want to, but mostly out of habit and because we can. We often hold the limited belief, “I should because I can.” And when chaos outside settles, we realize we have forgotten how to thrive without it. Our subconscious seeks the familiarity of chaos.
 
I know this about me. I can push my limits quite far until I can't anymore. I can ignore my desire for stillness...
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Boundaries Are Loving

Many of us who grew up learning to please in order to belong and to be seen. That was how love was modeled. We have this twisted belief that boundaries are unkind, unsafe, restrictive, not loving, and not generous. What we weren’t told is that without healthy boundaries we wither, dry out, shrivel and disappear. Not to be dramatic but many of us will give what we don’t have trying to fill a hole in others that can’t be filled until we reach the end of our precious supply and die. I see it all the time. The fear of losing “love” is so strong that disappearing is more appealing. But no one benefits from you leaving. What we need is your light. And for that you have to protect it, fiercely.

If you have kids you know you wouldn’t let them deplete their resources with a person that sucks life out of people. You wouldn’t. You would protect them from the predator with all that you’ve got until they learn to do it on their own. We have to do...

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"Because I don't want to" is enough of a reason

boundaries embodied Nov 05, 2019

For most of my life, I couldn't see all the things I was doing out of habit, but that I truly didn't want to do. The belief that I had to was so engrained in me.

It's very easy for highly sensitive people like us to betray ourselves. We don't even know we are doing it. Especially if the circumstances of our upbringing brought us to overuse our empathy in service to others, it's become our default setting. And often to the detriment of our own self-preservation and our own joy.

Empathy is such an important (and needed more than ever right now) human quality. It allows us to understand and share the feelings of others, to know what others need. It is essential in building a resilient and creative society. In fact, I think it should be part of the school curriculum because it is the building block for everything else if we want to lead a healthy and meaningful life.

Empathy is at its strongest when we are young kids. If it is modelled to us, it stays intact within us. But when there is...

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When Siddhartha Came Back

boundaries leadership Oct 18, 2019

You were not put on this earth to give more than you have. You are not here to be the energy source for a narcissist, a manipulator, a predator, or anyone who is not willing to take responsibility for their own life.

As an embodied leader, your healing gifts are meant for those who are willing to be open and curious, people who are ready to take responsibility for their healing and their growth. It's not your job to convince, nor to take responsibility for others' wellbeing.

There is a miss-conception in spiritual circles that extending loving-kindness means to give all we have, to care for everyone or anyone who comes our way. And to stay in life-sucking and depleting (sometimes abusing) situations. We envision Jesus holding everyone in his loving heart no matter what, but what we forget is that in order to do that, he went into the desert and did the inner work and recognized the preciousness of his own being as god. Giving without boundaries neglects the god within, which is our...

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Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.

boundaries selflove Jun 04, 2019

Many of us who grew up learning to please in order to belong and to be seen. That was how love was modelled. We have this twisted belief that boundaries are unkind, unsafe, restrictive, not loving, and not generous. What we weren’t told is that without healthy boundaries we wither, dry out, shrivel and disappear. Not to be dramatic but many of us will give what we don’t have trying to fill a hole in others that can’t be filled until we reach the end of our precious supply and die. I see it all the time. The fear of losing “love” is so strong that disappearing is more appealing. But no one benefits from you leaving. What we need is your light. And for that you have to protect it, fiercely.

Take your cues from the tree   It knows how to honour life with clarity and groundedness, and to not take crap that will compromise its sacred life. True love for Self, Divine love for Soul, is not sacrifice and misery. If the tree did that, we would all...

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