For most of my life, I couldn't see all the things I was doing out of habit, but that I truly didn't want to do. The belief that I had to was so engrained in me.
It's very easy for highly sensitive people like us to betray ourselves. We don't even know we are doing it. Especially if the circumstances of our upbringing brought us to overuse our empathy in service to others, it's become our default setting. And often to the detriment of our own self-preservation and our own joy.
Empathy is such an important (and needed more than ever right now) human quality. It allows us to understand and share the feelings of others, to know what others need. It is essential in building a resilient and creative society. In fact, I think it should be part of the school curriculum because it is the building block for everything else if we want to lead a healthy and meaningful life.
Empathy is at its strongest when we are young kids. If it is modelled to us, it stays intact within us. But when there is...
You were not put on this earth to give more than you have. You are not here to be the energy source for a narcissist, a manipulator, a predator, or anyone who is not willing to take responsibility for their own life.
As an embodied leader, your healing gifts are meant for those who are willing to be open and curious, people who are ready to take responsibility for their healing and their growth. It's not your job to convince, nor to take responsibility for others' wellbeing.
There is a miss-conception in spiritual circles that extending loving-kindness means to give all we have, to care for everyone or anyone who comes our way. And to stay in life-sucking and depleting (sometimes abusing) situations. We envision Jesus holding everyone in his loving heart no matter what, but what we forget is that in order to do that, he went into the desert and did the inner work and recognized the preciousness of his own being as god. Giving without boundaries neglects the god within, which is our...
Many of us who grew up learning to please in order to belong and to be seen. That was how love was modelled. We have this twisted belief that boundaries are unkind, unsafe, restrictive, not loving, and not generous. What we weren’t told is that without healthy boundaries we wither, dry out, shrivel and disappear. Not to be dramatic but many of us will give what we don’t have trying to fill a hole in others that can’t be filled until we reach the end of our precious supply and die. I see it all the time. The fear of losing “love” is so strong that disappearing is more appealing. But no one benefits from you leaving. What we need is your light. And for that you have to protect it, fiercely.
Take your cues from the tree It knows how to honour life with clarity and groundedness, and to not take crap that will compromise its sacred life. True love for Self, Divine love for Soul, is not sacrifice and misery. If the tree did that, we would all...
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